Friends: Take Two

Many of you saw that I had a really hard time blogging about friendship yesterday. It got a bit messy and emotional, as will happen when thinking about one’s friends. Past, present, good and bad. (and yes, there are some not so good friends out there) Today I have conquered those emotions and have taken a different direction, still saying what I wanted to say. I think.

I remember in grade school, at dear old Parson’s Elementary, that I had a hard time with which came first. The ‘i’ or the ‘e’. I still have a hard time with that one and fall back on the “I before E except after C” rule when spelling something. It’s one of the very few ‘rules’ in English that somewhat makes sense to me. But that is another blog. A kind, yet oddly smelling, teacher leaned over my desk one day and asked me why I was so frustrated in my spelling lesson. I told her I couldn’t figure out the “i” and “e” thing in the word friend. She told me that the spelling is much like the person, a true friend is there till the ‘end’. “Friends to the end” she said. I’ve remembered that for these some 20 years. (okay, who am I kidding? these some 30 years) defines the word friend as: “A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.” and Webster’s Dictionary says a friend is: “the scarcest thing on earth. A rare visitor, but he can come around a few times in a lifetime.”

Do you agree?

In my opinion one of the most key components to a true friendship is the shoulder. As defined in the dictionary in it’s verb form, shoulder means: “to carry or place, to take on or assume.” So, a friend’s shoulder is there to cry on, to lean on, to bear another’s burden, to lift, and to support. Maybe even to push on every now and again in the fits of laughter or to point in the right direction. If you think about it for even a tiny bit more you can think of other uses for the shoulder in a friendship. If our shoulders were not strong how would we be able to carry all of those shopping bags we acquire while we are out with our freinds spending quality time together? And what area is extremely important in lifting the spoon from a banana split or piece of rich cheesecake than the shoulder? We can also tend each other’s children by holding a crying baby or pushing a toddler on their bike, freeing our friend some time to spend with their spouse or just to rejuvenate.

What do you consider ‘friend’ traits? Are *you* a good friend? Would you be friends with yourself?

I’ve learned that I have many acquaintances and few friends. But, after a long internal battle, I’m okay with that. The ones who have gotten to know me and love me anyway, who let me cry then tell me to get back in the game, the ones who can go to my cupboards and get themselves a drink, the ones who make me feel beautiful without make up, the ones who stick by me when they could easily turn their backs, the ones who are sarcastic with me and whom I don’t feel like I have to be something I’m not; those are rare, and I am ever so grateful to have them. Both near and far, ones that I have gone many places with, and those I have yet to meet. I am very lucky to have you.

Take care of those shoulders friends, you never know when they may be needed!

2 comments on “Friends: Take Two

  1. Colleen July 17, 2010 5:13 AM

    I think the being yourself thing is key to me. I can usually tell when a friendship has moved from just friends to true friends when we can sit in the same room and not even talk and it's still comfortable. I hope our friendship grows and deepens as the years go by! You are a wonderful woman to know.

  2. Mandi August 5, 2010 11:46 PM


    I *know* that our friendship is going to deepen and grow. 🙂 We click. Our families click. We've wasted too much opportunity and time, I regret that because you have always been there! It may take effort, but I am *so* ready for it!

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